NFL Preseason Predictions: Deuce’s Unfiltered Hot Takes

August 17, 2024

Alright, folks, it’s time to get real about this NFL season. You’ve tuned in to "Deuce’s Two Cents," so you already know you’re in for some opinions hotter than a summer day in the desert. I’m here to break down my preseason predictions, and let me tell you, no team is safe from my sarcasm, my bias, or my truth bombs. So, let’s dive into what’s going down in the NFL this season, Deuce style.

Raiders Rule, Chiefs Drool

Let’s get one thing straight right off the bat: the Raiders are winning the AFC West. Yeah, I said it. And no, it’s not just because I’m a die-hard Raiders fan (okay, maybe a little). But seriously, AP, Crosby, and the boys are ready to take the crown from the Chiefs. If you’re a Kansas City fan, you might want to laugh this off, but don’t say I didn’t warn you when it happens. I know, I know, I’m a little biased, but at least I’m honest about it. Go Raiders!

Bills vs. Bucs: The Super Bowl Showdown

Now, here’s where things get interesting. I’m calling it right now: the Bills and the Bucs are going to the Super Bowl. That’s right, Josh Allen is finally going to shake off that Chiefs curse and lead Buffalo to the big game. And on the other side, we’ve got Baker Mayfield, who’s going to take Tampa Bay all the way. I know it sounds crazy, but hey, it’s the NFL—weird things happen. And you heard it here first: the Bills are taking home the Lombardi Trophy. Buffalo, your time has finally come.

NFC North: A Tough Call

When it comes to the NFC North, even I’ve got to admit, it’s a tough one to call. The Lions are looking good under Dan Campbell, but I’m not ready to hand them the division just yet. The Packers might have something cooking with Jordan Love, but I’m not convinced they’re ready to dominate. The Bears? Yeah, they’ve got a gritty defense, but I’ve got them finishing third. And the Vikings? Let’s just say I’m not exactly losing sleep over them.

Sleeper Pick: The Texans

Alright, here’s my boldest take of the season: the Houston Texans. Yeah, you heard me right. Despite all the chaos in recent years, I see something in this team, especially with 2nd year QB C.J. Stroud leading the charge. I’m calling it—the Texans are winning the AFC South. Go ahead, laugh now, but don’t be surprised when Houston makes a serious playoff run.

My Parting Words

Let’s wrap this up with a little reminder: these predictions are just my two cents. You can agree, disagree, or just sit there shaking your head, but trust me—you’ll probably be wrong if you do. Whether you’re a hardcore fan, a fantasy football addict, or just here for the laughs, you know I’m going to keep it real every week. This NFL season is going to be wild, and I’ll be here breaking it all down with my usual mix of sarcasm, humor, and a dash of brutal honesty.

So, stick around, because this is just the beginning. And remember, when the Bills are hoisting that Lombardi Trophy come February, you heard it here first. Deuces out!