Deuce's Top 10 Preseason Fantasy Picks
Deuce's Top 10 Preseason Fantasy Picks
Alright, let's get this fantasy draft party started! Deuce's Top 10 Fantasy Picks are coming in hot, and they're guaranteed to make your league-mates either jealous or laugh hysterically. Remember, these are Deuce's picks, so take them with a grain of salt (and maybe a shot of tequila).
Buckle up, because it's about to get wild!
1. Zamir White - Las Vegas Raiders
Last Year's Stats: 451 rushing yards, 3 TDs (limited opportunities)
Deuce's Nickname: The Bulldozer
Why Deuce is Betting on Him:
"This kid's got the whole package. Power, vision, hands, and a willingness to put his nose in there and block. The Raiders O-line loves him, and that's HUGE. If they give him the rock, he's gonna roll over the competition. Mark my words, this could be the year Zeus unleashes the thunder!"
2. Chuba Hubbard - Carolina Panthers
Last Year's Stats: 902 rushing yards, 5 TDs, 233 receiving yards
Deuce's Nickname: The Heart & Hustle
Why Deuce is Banking on Him:
"This guy's a workhorse, plain and simple. He put up solid numbers last year on a team that was, let's be honest, a dumpster fire. Now he's got a new coach who knows how to get the most out of his running backs. Chubba's got that fire in his belly, and he's playing for a new contract. Expect a whole lot of check-downs, a Pro Bowl nod, and maybe even a few dance moves in the end zone. Don't sleep on the Heart & Hustle, folks!"
3. Rachaad White - Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Last Year's Stats: 481 rushing yards, 1 TD, 290 receiving yards, 2 TDs
Deuce's Nickname: The Throwback
Why Deuce is Rollin' with Him:
"This kid's got that old-school grit, the kind of running back that reminds me of the legends I grew up watching. He's tough, versatile, and he's got a nose for the end zone. People are sleeping on him this year, but I see a breakout season brewing. White's gonna prove the doubters wrong and carry the Bucs on his back. Mark my words, this Throwback's gonna have a vintage year!"
4. Baker Mayfield - Tampa Bay Buccaneers
Last Year's Stats: 4,044 passing yards, 28 TDs, 10 INTs
Deuce's Nickname: The Underdog
Why Deuce is Riding the Mayfield Train:
"This guy's got more grit than a sandpaper sandwich. He's been through the wringer, played for a new team practically every year, and still finds a way to win. He's the ultimate underdog, and I love it. Last year, he dragged the Bucs to the playoffs with a bum shoulder and a chip on his shoulder. People keep counting him out, but I'm telling you, Baker's got that 'it' factor. This season, he's gonna prove the doubters wrong and lead the Bucs on a deep playoff run. Don't underestimate the Underdog, folks!"
5. Cooper Kupp - Los Angeles Rams
Last Year's Stats: 75 receptions, 812 yards, 6 TDs (injury-shortened season)
Deuce's Nickname: Mr. Reliable
Why Deuce is on the Kupp Train:
"This guy's the definition of a silent assassin. No flash, no drama, just pure, unadulterated production. He's coming back from an injury, but don't let that fool you. Kupp's got the best hands in the business, and his connection with Stafford is telepathic. Expect him to be back to his old, dominant self, racking up yards and touchdowns like it's nobody's business. Mr. Reliable is back, baby, and he's ready to deliver!"
6. Isiah Pacheco - Kansas City Chiefs
Last Year's Stats: 830 rushing yards, 5 TDs, 130 receiving yards
Deuce's Nickname: The Human Cheat Code
Why Deuce is All-In on Pacheco:
"This dude's a video game character come to life. He runs like a mix of Earl Campbell and Marcus Allen, and once he hits the second level, it's game over. He's got that rare combination of power, speed, and pure determination. I drafted him on every single one of my fantasy teams, and I'm not even sorry. Pacheco's gonna put up monster numbers in that Chiefs offense. He's the Human Cheat Code, and he's about to break the game wide open!"
7. Jerome Ford - Cleveland Browns
Last Year's Stats: 12 carries, 54 yards, 1 TD (limited opportunities)
Deuce's Nickname: The Swiss Army Knife
Why Deuce is High on Ford:
"This kid's got more tools than a Swiss Army Knife. He can run, he can catch, he can make defenders miss, and he's got a football IQ that's off the charts. Sure, the Browns' backfield is crowded, but that doesn't scare me. Ford's too versatile to keep off the field. He'll get his touches, and he'll make the most of 'em. When you need a playmaker in any situation, you turn to the Swiss Army Knife. He's gonna be a fantasy gem, mark my words!"
8. Justin Fields - Pittsburgh Steelers
Last Year's Stats: 2,242 passing yards, 17 TDs, 11 INTs, 1,143 rushing yards, 8 TDs
Deuce's Nickname: The Second Coming (of Slash)
Why Deuce is Hyped for Fields:
"Listen up, folks! This ain't your average quarterback. This is Justin freakin' Fields, the dual-threat dynamo who's about to rewrite the NFL playbook. He's got the arm, the legs, and the heart of a lion. Remember what he did at Ohio State? Yeah, that's coming to the NFL this year, now in the black and gold of Pittsburgh. He's like a modern-day Jim Plunkett, a guy everyone wrote off until he shocked the world. Fields is gonna lead the Steelers to greatness, and I'm here for every damn second of it. The rest of the AFC North, watch out! This is the year of the Second Coming, and he's wearing number two in the Steel City!"
9. Christian Kirk - Jacksonville Jaguars
Last Year's Stats: 57 receptions, 787 yards, 3 TDs (injury-shortened season)
Deuce's Nickname: The Glue Guy
Why Deuce is Sticking with Kirk:
"This dude's like the duct tape of the Jaguars' offense – he holds everything together. Every year they bring in flashy new receivers, and every year it's Kirk who quietly makes the plays that matter. He's got that clutch gene, the ability to come through when the game's on the line. People keep overlooking him, but I'm telling you, he's the glue that keeps this offense humming. The Jags' offense sputtered when he was injured last year, and that's no coincidence. Kirk's a playmaker, plain and simple. The Glue Guy's gonna have a monster season, and all those fantasy managers who tried to trade for him are gonna be kicking themselves."
10. Jake Bates - Detroit Lions
Last Year's Stats: UFL: 17/22 FGs, including 3 from 60+ yards
Deuce's Nickname: The Human Howitzer
Why Deuce is Drafting Him:
"This dude's got a leg like a freakin' cannon! Three 60+ yard field goals in one season? That's unheard of! Now he's with the Lions, and with that high-powered offense, they're gonna be in scoring range all day long. Coach Campbell might even rethink his fourth-down gambles with this weapon in his arsenal. One kick can win you a fantasy matchup, and Bates is gonna be launching bombs all season long. Don't be the fool who lets the Human Howitzer slip through your fingers!"
Alright, folks, there you have it! Deuce's Top 10 Fantasy Picks for the upcoming season. Remember, these are just my two cents, and I'm probably wrong about half of them. But hey, that's what makes fantasy football so damn fun, right?
So go out there, draft these guys (or don't, it's your funeral), and let's see who comes out on top. May the fantasy gods be with you, and may your waiver wire pickups be fruitful.
Mic Drop! Deuce's Out!
Deuce's Two Cents, Published: August 10th, 2024